Did you hear the news? Do you care? Well I do! One of the ONLY people I could even tolerate on the freaking Food Network has been freaking FIRED! The only positive thing that has come out of the firing (ok, I’d like to believe that Mario really walked out on the network because they wanted to cancel his shows like has been speculated… you go you big, sweaty, ginger bad-ass) is that I now realize that it’s official that I’m not crazy. My feelings on how bad the Food Network has become (see post from August, 2007, “Rachel Ray – Maybe Hate is a Strong Word?”) have been validated once again. The Food Network has never sunk to such low levels since hiring loser, talentless, boring Ingrid “the Hoff-wannabee” Hoffman. No more Molto Mario!? Maybe in repeats. No more Iron Chef America with Mario!? FIRE CAT CORA – NOT FUCKING MARIO BATALI – THE ONLY TRUE TALENT ON THAT GOD-FORSAKEN TV CHANNEL! Sorry, I’m starting to loose it here!
All I can say is that it’s a sad, sad day for me (and I’m sure once I deliver the news to Jonny, he’ll make us put on the red wigs, white aprons, prosthetic stomachs and orange crocks we like to don every few weeks – that’s a joke, kids) and I’m definitely sure that Mario will be better off without that sell-out of a network. Maybe PBS will replace that lame Everyday Food show with a new Mario show? Maybe Mario’s XL gut will knock out over-zealous and overly-nice Andrew Zimmern’s XL gut and his Bizzare Foods will be no longer!
A girl can dream. We heart you, Mario.